I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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