I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
