i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
