In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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