Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
