you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
