Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize