Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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