Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
