Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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