I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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