Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Randomize