She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I love having hate sex.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize