I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
