I must be too annoying 4 u.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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