Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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