Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
