GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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