You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
