Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
