how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she smelled like a LAN party
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
