girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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