I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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