Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
