Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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