It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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