You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
