I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
