So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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