Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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