Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
No subtext here. People are naked.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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