i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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