Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize