you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
