real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
