Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
