Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
No subtext here. People are naked.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
