can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
