I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
