How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize