she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
