All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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