she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
no you cant smoke seaweed
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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