puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I wish there were birth control emojis
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
