well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
