Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I have demons in me.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
