Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
