My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
