I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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