I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
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He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
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When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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