i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
