I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The struggles of a small town man whore
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize