is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
