Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
