I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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