I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
this beer tastes like vomit already
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
