HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
