Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
